Real friends, real quotes...

There are many friendship quotes out in the world. They may come from books, history, our own family, the internet, or we made one up with our friends. Recently, I found one that caught my eye:

”A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself”.

As cliché as this sounds, with age I’ve come to appreciate how true this quote is. It is one thing to have many friends in your life, and it is completely different to have true friendships in your lifetime. If you are oh so lucky to find a real friend in someone, mostly someone with whom you can truly be yourself, I encourage you not to take it for granted.

Many movies show female friends as those who are there for all the fun stuff, the crazy stuff, the happy stuff. But what about the real stuff? The sad stuff? The upsetting stuff?

It is very easy to be protective of one’s space, physical or emotional. However, this means that by keeping your vibe positive you have successfully blocked out the door for a friend to reach out to you. This would’ve also been a great opportunity to pass on some of that positivity and “chakra alignment” you wish upon the world around you.

There is also the famous “Golden Rule”: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. When you feel like you need someone in your life who truly understands your ups and downs and is there to encourage you and help you heal in any way, this is the gift you can give to others.

Much is said about staying positive and uplifting, but this doesn’t mean you should block out your real feelings and the problems you encounter. Real friends are not only cheaper than therapy but most of the time it can completely avoid the need for those expensive sessions. While many people seek therapy because they feel misunderstood or that they don’t have real solutions for their problems, I bet others seek therapy because they simply feel alone. But why should one feel alone when they have friends? Are you a true friend to someone? Besides seeing your friend laugh out loud, have you seen them cry their heart out (aka ugly cry)? Have you ever seen your friend frustrated or upset? Have you had a difficult, and honest, conversation with your friend about having different opinions on something?

You don’t need to carry other people’s burdens to be there for them. However, keep in mind that if you want a real friendship with someone, this includes the “good, the bad, and the ugly”, and we’re not talking about hair or fashion. Your people should be as real as you and we all have our therapy-worthy-issues that could be cured with some quality time with real friends.

To expect people to be smiley or happy all the time is asking for the most hypocritical relationship out there. Your desire for someone’s happiness cannot be enforced on them just to please you. Even with the best intentions you may cause more harm than good if you don’t allow your friends to be as real, and unique, as they are. Yes, we have a choice on how long to keep them and/or how our interactions affect us, but this is not a way to “create” that perfect imaginary friend we always dreamed about.

So can we all agree that maybe the best therapy is a great chat with your bestie and maybe a little wine (or non-fermented grape juice; I won’t judge)? Whatever your poison is, please don’t let it be critical, harsh, or damaging words coming out of your mouth (or typed into a message, those count double).

Now, before you go, I want to leave you with one more thing… a quote from Tim McGraw, “always stay humble and kind”.

Bonus last line? You have the floor to leave a little “friend appreciation shout-out”, OR to share your best tips and tricks on being a real friend to others. Do with that what you will…